What does it mean to be a good person?

View all responses

Can you…

·       Identify when it’s them not you vs when it’s you not them, and be honest about it without conflating the two?

·       Apologise when in the wrong without placing the burden of restoration/reconciliation on the victim, and follow that up with actual, sustained change to your behaviour?

·       Tell the difference between good discomfort and bad discomfort? 

·       Sit with discomfort without rushing to resolve it prematurely?

·       Extend the same interpretive generosity (e.g. maybe they’re just tired) even to people you don’t like?

·       Suspend judgement until you have the facts, even if you need to make immediate decisions?

·       See the truth in what someone is saying even if their delivery is sloppy or lacking in some way (e.g. arrogant tone)? 

·       Evaluate a situation based on its merits instead of resorting automatically to lazy stereotypes and shortcuts? 

·       Weigh yourself increasingly by follow-through instead of good intentions and lip service principles?

• Acknowledge someone’s talents, skills and capabilities without feeling the need to diminish or ‘cut them down to size’ to make yourself feel better in comparison?

·       Treat another person the way you believe you deserve to be treated if you were the one on the receiving end?

·       Hold two good but seemingly conflicting ideas together without erasing either one (e.g. tact and warranted confrontation)?

·       Allow your behaviour to be increasingly constrained by your ‘principles’, or drop your flattering self-image as a principled person?

·       See through your own biases (e.g. the reason Steve has been entrusted with the storage key is not because he’s more reliable than Dave the new guy, it’s really because Steve has been there a long time, and everyone knows and likes him)?

·       Notice how quickly you invoke constraints (busy, no time, tired) when you encounter something you don’t want to do (exercise, work, uncomfortable conversations, lifestyle changes, etc.), but the constraints suddenly become overcomable when it’s something you like (a hobby, making money, hanging out with someone you like)?

·       Do all this consistently even if not perfectly every time, as a lifestyle, like any other rhythm in your life (work, homelife, etc.)? 

The list could go on, but you get the idea.